Now you see it now you don't

 I have been learning to use show not tell to make my narratives interesting. 

I do this I tried to have Wow words in your story and describe what the characters think and feel.

This is a story I and India have changed.

                        The Ngahere                                        

   

Orientation (Two Brothers) Problem does not get along - one is adventurous and the other is lazy. 

 

One morning Jeziah got angry with his little brother Justice because of his laziness and taking forever to do everything as he’s always gaming and raiding the pantry. Which his mum and brother do not like because they have to pay for everything and they're not rich. Jeziah likes to mock, giving Justice the nickname “Greedy Guts' '. 

 

They were arguing about where they wanted to go. So Mum suggested that they should just go out and enjoy the Ngahere. Jeziah goes out into the Ngahere. He Tells Justice to come with him but Justice doesn’t want to; all he wants to do is play the game all day and eat like a pig. The boys obeyed their mother and went into the Ngahere. Jeziah tries to play a prank on Justice but suddenly Jeziah gets lost. Justice is scared, but he tries to find him not knowing what to do. Knowing he would get in trouble with his mum if he ended up coming. Home by himself. Creeping and quietly walking through the really damp, dark bush trees swaying with the wind, the wind going through the tree’s making it sound like someone screaming.

Justice calls out to him; he answers with” Yes, I'm here, can you help me I’ve rolled my ankle?” Justice does what he can to help Jeziah. There is such a thing as brotherly love with finding his older brother and helping him. Finding their way out of the Ngahere has brought the brothers closer together.

Jeziah realizes that his little brother Justice is really helpful after all and admires the fact that he wasn't so lazy but forgiving and brave. They go home peacefully accepting each other's differences. Jeziah feels proud of his brother and realizes how mum must feel when they are continually arguing.