New ending

 In class, we have read Thirst, our task was to make up our own ending to the story.

I think I have done the following well: I have enjoyed using figurative language and show not tell in my stories it has helped me make my stories more exciting.

New ending

Dad shouted once more with an infuriated voice.” Ryder you thief, come here now. Stop hiding you little rat!!” Then Ryder heard his dad's voice and his heart started pounding like a hammer smashing against his chest. Blood flushes through his brain like a waterfall. Guilt starting to build up inside of him. What am I gonna do if dad finds me? Ryder thought. Should I run away, or should I just go home and tell mum and dad that I stole the neighbor's water? Ryder decided to face his parents and starts walking home. Walking the sun was crushing my soul like a car crusher in a junkyard. He opens the door and is faced with Brooke. Her face was drenched with tears. Guilt, disappointment, regret- flooded through  Ryder’s being.

“Come into the living room now,” Ryder's mum said. Ryder follows his parents and he sits on the couch, chewing on his nails.  “What were you thinking? Why do you think you can just go and steal someone else's property? You can get me and your dad fired from that job“ scolds mum. “I don’t know mum. I just looked at Brooke and she looked so sad and unhappy. We needed to clean our uniforms because we haven't washed our uniforms for over a month. We haven't even been able to actually shower because we have no water. “

                                                                                   

Ryder listens to his mum and dad and does everything around the house. He is slowly learning his lesson not to steal without asking for permission from the owner of the house and whoever paid for the water. Ryder learns slowly, but in the fourth week, something patters down on the roof. Rain.

Im class we have been reading a journal and this journal is called Thirst, and we had to do a narrative plot planner.

 

Now you see it now you don't

 I have been learning to use show not tell to make my narratives interesting. 

I do this I tried to have Wow words in your story and describe what the characters think and feel.

This is a story I and India have changed.

                        The Ngahere                                        

   

Orientation (Two Brothers) Problem does not get along - one is adventurous and the other is lazy. 

 

One morning Jeziah got angry with his little brother Justice because of his laziness and taking forever to do everything as he’s always gaming and raiding the pantry. Which his mum and brother do not like because they have to pay for everything and they're not rich. Jeziah likes to mock, giving Justice the nickname “Greedy Guts' '. 

 

They were arguing about where they wanted to go. So Mum suggested that they should just go out and enjoy the Ngahere. Jeziah goes out into the Ngahere. He Tells Justice to come with him but Justice doesn’t want to; all he wants to do is play the game all day and eat like a pig. The boys obeyed their mother and went into the Ngahere. Jeziah tries to play a prank on Justice but suddenly Jeziah gets lost. Justice is scared, but he tries to find him not knowing what to do. Knowing he would get in trouble with his mum if he ended up coming. Home by himself. Creeping and quietly walking through the really damp, dark bush trees swaying with the wind, the wind going through the tree’s making it sound like someone screaming.

Justice calls out to him; he answers with” Yes, I'm here, can you help me I’ve rolled my ankle?” Justice does what he can to help Jeziah. There is such a thing as brotherly love with finding his older brother and helping him. Finding their way out of the Ngahere has brought the brothers closer together.

Jeziah realizes that his little brother Justice is really helpful after all and admires the fact that he wasn't so lazy but forgiving and brave. They go home peacefully accepting each other's differences. Jeziah feels proud of his brother and realizes how mum must feel when they are continually arguing. 

Well health being

 In class, we are learning what it means to be healthy. I learned that If you think bad stuff in your head your body is still healthy

In class we do cold task to find out what we already know. Our cold task was narrative writing. This is a snap shot of what i can do in 30 minutes by myself.

We are learning to self -assess our writing so we know what we are good at and what we need to work on.

What I want to approve on is putting better language like figurative language and wow words in my story.

 Name: Taitokerau

Once I went to calaya’s and thems house when they used to live down in Te Iringa and I and calaya were playing on the quad having heaps of fun. Then we had to give the quad over to one of our other cousins and to my sisters Naz and Ryvi to have a turn on. So then they thought that they were cool and went for a ride on the road. So then my cousin was like oh should we go onto the rocky road and try to do some burnouts and stuff. Then my sisters were like yup if you can control the quad and my cousin said yes. SO then they went onto the rocky road suddenly!!!! My cousin thought she was cool and tried to do burnouts and she lost control of the bike and my sister Ryvi fell of the quad then she go scratched up heaps and then her leg got ran over and her cut was so deep u could see her bone in her leg and she was crying so much that she felt like her heart was gonna leave her body.

The mistery shapes

 Yesterday we got given a task sheet to complete with a partner and see if we knew what some of the clues meant and see if we knew what we were doing.

Embrassing forgiveness

 This week we have been learning about how to forgive people and to love your enemies and not (Rapu utu) that means seek revenge